


snippet of a story

by Eira_ho



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, M/M, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:47:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29178954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eira_ho/pseuds/Eira_ho
Summary: Hoseok loved kihyun for so long fully knowing that he is straight but he didn't know that seeing him dating would be this painful
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	snippet of a story

**Author's Note:**

> first story of the new year!!!   
> its sad as always please enjoy

I never understood the word bitter feeling

until I saw him sitting with her

  
  


Hoseok rubbed his face trying to focus on the lecture but it feels like something bitter went down his throat everytime he remembers what happened less than one hour before

Hoseok was having a good day knowing he shared this lecture with kihyun one of his closest friends and the person he had been amoured with for the last two years

He was talking to his other two friends minhyuk and hyunwoo while waiting in the lecture hall when he saw in the side of his eye kihyun enter and the quickened heartbeat turned into a stab the moment he saw that he was with a girl

Smiling at her while she talked animatedly only looking at him

The two sat at the far back beside each other

Hoseok felt his face contorting into what he believe to be the ugliest expression he ever had

it was jealousy

he quickly faced away not to stop the hurt but afraid his friends would see his face or

maybe kihyun will lift his face and see him looking.

He pretended to rummage through his stuff and pretended to take a notebook from his bag then faced back again like he was at the beginning to continue talking to his friends. Minhyuk obviously noticed the two and was curious while hyunwoo just shrugged at the questions minhyuk posed.

Hoseok kept glancing up and he could see that kihyun was so invested in what she was saying that he thought even if he had kept looking at them none stop the other wouldn't sense it

he heard his friends talking and tried to focus on that, he replied and shared his opinion 

but he felt disconnected

and he is glad he was 

The lecture soon started and everyone looked in front of them and he was lost since then mind empty yet so loud the professor sound on the background of his thoughts is just adding to the chaos in his mind

Hoseok knew that kihyun was straight yet he loved him so truly and honestly just the idea of hooking up or talking to other men felt like he betrayed that love.

He looked up to him even though he was older 

He felt so proud when kihyun came to him to ask for guidance or advice or when the younger complimented him

He was in love with someone who would never love him back but to be faced with it is still painful.

The two hours -which felt like a whole day- passed and as the professor left the conference room he put his things inside stood and left not staying for the second syllabus, hoseok saw kihyun go out too but he was in front of him still walking with the same girl.

Still smiling.

They went left surely for another lecture and he continued straight on leaving the campus going toward his room feeling the need to hurry before everything catches on to him and at the same time unable to move any faster his body sluggish.

he felt heavy.

He was falling into despair.

he entered the room he shared with another robotically doing his routine he washed his feet and face changed into a comfier fit put everything back into its place then sat down in his bed

closing his eyes

he sees it infront of him, them sitting together so easily their worlds intertwined unknown to them that his is shattering, everything came so easy to her while he agonized for years over something he couldn't get over

he see them together and he sees himself a few sits back alone 

talking to him so easily while he listened to her, he had always been a good listener. He started to imagine himself in her place but it hurt so much he couldn't

he opens his eyes for a moment just to shut them tighter quickly. seeing himself this alone sitting in this chamber hurts the reality of it hurts 

everything

hurts

he cries, tears dropping freely and he gives into it, he sobs loudly. He has time to let it all out before his roommate arrives. He smiles thro the tears at this passing thought 'a timed breakdown' he mumbles to himself.

feeling lighter already after that hoseok washes his face hoping his crying fest will go unnoticed by his roommate. the aches feels like a pulsing pain, always present but intensifies in intervals and throughout the day. he kept caressing his chest unconsciously trying to alleviate the pain that his roommate noticed and asked if he was fine

he smiled back and teased his roommate for being worried.

he laughed at seeing his grumbling face 

he even texted kihyun back in his normal dramatic way

his tears dripped before he slept too

waking up again doing his routine going out to the campus seeing him from far away with his girlfriend. Talking to him, talking to her and befriending her while feeling the hurt constantly.

days passed

weeks passed

even months

and here he is one year later 

still thinking of him still loving him still crying over him

but mostly pretending to move on

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it as always please tell me if there is any mistakes   
> hope you liked it


End file.
